Well, yes it is sport, but it is the Olympic Games so as games they are valid fodder for this blog.
Opening Ceremony Live On Channel 7 HD
(Times are Australian Eastern Standard Time - 2 hours ahead of Beijing)
21:50 - Olympics in HD baby. Volume turned up for drums.
21:51 - Aw kids are cute. Not so for TV host who doesn't bother welcoming Tasmania. Oh, the HD coverage has stopped. Standard def now shows a weather report. Looks like they screwed up the switch locally.
21:55 - Finally back to the Opening Ceremony. 'Bout time. The Giggling One and I are a right pair of geeks sitting on the couch with our laptops.
21:57 - Cool drums that light up. Epilepsy fits ensue.
21:59 - Drum light count down. Wow!
22:00 - Must watch TV and not computer screen. Chinese mega haka.
22:05 - Drums, glow sticks and fireworks. Very impressive.
22:06 - Dem rings they are a flying.
22:09 - Obligatory cute as buttons kids.
22:12 - Disconcerting the way the HD signal cuts to generic scenic pictures during ad breaks.
22:16 - The great Chinese tradition of RPGs is shown with the unveiling of a scroll. I think it involves finding the man with the leaky hand.
22:20 - Someone stuck giant darts in all their heads.
22:26 - They should have done Space Invaders on their giant typewriter. Nonetheless very impressive. Again.
22:28 - Puppets! Recreating the lonely goatherd scene from The Sound of Music by the looks of it.
22:34 - The oar dancing is seriously impressive.
22:38 - Thanks to the commentator I now know that the history of China is very sumptuous. Feeling peckish?
22:41 - No safety nets for the guys on the pillars? Quick, call the Health & Safety Rep.
22:44 - Chinese fluoro disco dancers.
22:45 - The disco guys form a giant dove/blob.
22:47 - The Beijing Nikki Webster. She's got a crappy music career ahead.
22:51 - These Channel 7 commentators are AWFUL. Where are Roy & HG when you need them?
22:58 - According to the commentators the birds on the giant screens are symbolic of the green games...in a city of smog.
23:00 - The Giggling One has just found an online news site article about the whole opening ceremony written in the past tense with a post time of one hour in the future from now. It's a time travel conspiracy.
23:07 - Hoorah - the commentators have been given the boot and Bruce McAveney is in the chair. Just in time for more drumming. They like drums in China.
23:09 - Ah, now we find why Bruce and Sandy Roberts are behind the mic now - it's time for the competitors to come in.
23:10 - Greece enters first. Who woulda thunk it?
23:11 - We get a lesson in the Chinese alphabet as Guinea come in 2nd followed by Guinea-Bissau. Then we have Turkey.
23:12 - The marshals are going to get very tired if they have to bounce for the whole parade.
23:13 - OK, I'm not blogging every team. Instead I'll see what facts I can share from the wisdom of Bruce and Sandy.
23:18 - "When you think of Bhutan, you think of archery." Um...OK.
23:29 - OMG, there are 204 countries marching? I didn't realise there were that many. *stifles yawn*
23:40 - Chad's 100m runner is 15 years old. Fast little blighter.
23:45 - As well as blogging, I'm chatting with friends on Skype and we're creating a drinking game to get us through the parade. So far it's a drink every time judo is mentioned, every time we spot a handy cam, and whenever "Dick Pound" is mentioned.
23:53 - We're not drinking enough. We've added mentions of greco roman wrestling, and shots of Juan Antonio Samaranch.
00:00 - "Judo"! *drinks*
00:02 - The bagpipes are back. *drinks*
00:06 - "Judo"! *drinks* ... Handy cam! *drinks* ... Are we half way yet?
00:09 - The Giggling One (also participating in the drinking game) thought the "Albania" sign said "Alabama". I think she's keeping an eye out for Connecticut.
00:21 - Poor Bolivia have been competing since 1936, but haven't won a medal.
00:22 - The dancing usher girls are running out of puff.
00:27 - The USA team look like golfers.
00:42 - Four "judo"s in a minute. Thank frak we've stopped the handy cam spotting. I couldn't handle both.
00:57 - New Zealand. Led by a man wearing a dead sheep.
01:06 - Team #202: Australia! And aren't their uniforms awful. Though according to Sandy the uniforms are "quite sensational". Idiot. The Giggling One was more on the money. She said they put half their uniforms in a bucket of bleach.
01:09 - Finally China arrive to a thunderous reception (as you would expect).
01:23 - All the teams are in and we can now begin the final part of the ceremony. Hoorah!
01:34 - Wake me when the speeches are over...
01:36 - The games are declared open! (at least I think that's what he said)
01:44 - Soldiers steal the Olympic flag!
01:46 - Soldiers have a change of heart and raise the flag.
01:57 - Go the old fat bastards with the flame.
02:01 - He flies!
02:05 - We have fire!
02:08 - It's over! A pretty damn impressive event. Here's to the next 16 days.