Well, it's nearly time to say goodbye my friends. With only one week remaining and Channel 10 finally axing Big Brother, this could well be the penultimate Big Brother Recap EVER.
/cue violins
Bah, sod the violins - let's trash the place.
Week 11 saw the mid-week departure of Malibu, aka Blonde-zilla, aka Brigitte.
But, as usual, there were a few other things happening inside the house...
In her farewell message, Bianca gave her share of the cash to Ben, then promptly threw her Housemate Hand Grenade at him. She decided he needed to be a better spooner, so she made him the cook.
Ben was to be aided in the kitchen only by the other non-cooks Travis, Malibu and Cherry.
For the weekly task, housemates had to dress as paparazzi, and when the sound of clicking cameras was played in the house, they had 90 seconds to snap pictures of celebs who appeared throughout the house, either as a photo behind a mirror or a look-alike in the rewards window.
This was, of course, all a set-up for the entrance of a real celebrity on Wednesday night.
Still on Sunday, though, and Terri and Travis had a talk about caesarians. Terri informed Travis the procedure was named after Julius Caesar who was the first to be born that way, and the conversation continued as follows:
TRAVIS: That would have been like years and years ago.
TERRI: Yeah thousands...oh hundreds of years ago.
TRAVIS: Oh I don't think hundreds of...it would have been 200 years ago. Julius Caesar was around back in, um, Jesus' times, and Jesus was, um, walking around 200 years ago I think.
Yup, that's Travis. He goes to church every week and knows the story of Jesus like the back of his hand.
Ben found himself in trouble when he accidentally threw a ball against the water tanks and broke the level indicator, causing water to pour out. According to Big Brother, more than 4,000 litres were lost.
Ben was consequently made to conserve water, and was banned from the shower, with only a bucket and loofah to wash himself. And that was just the beginning.
Monday's nominations saw Rory top the charts with 8 points, followed by Cherry, Ben and Terri all on 3. After Cherry saved himself, Malibu and Alice (2 points) also ended up being nominated. This left just Travis (0 points) out of the eviction spotlight this week.
After a Paris Hilton look-alike appeared in the window, Cherry showed what a lovely fellow (read: shallow tosser) he is by asking BB if she would be back, and could he have her number.
Ben decided to get around the washing in a bucket thing by washing plates in the laundry, and "accidentally" letting the hot water wash him at the same time.
Unfortunately for Ben, he couldn't stop there, and he rebelled further by using the outside shower. As punishment, Rory had to wash with only one bucket a day as well.
Under the cover of darkness/infra-red cameras, Malibu and Cherry engaged in some bed time snogging.
Rather than buying Alice and Malibu a hairdressing appointment, Cherry instead bought a ball and rackets, and a message from home for Terri from the vending machine.
Obviously keen for the girls to have their hair done for a certain photoshoot planned for later in the week, Big Brother offered Alice and Malibu a deal. They could have their hair cut, coloured, and styled if they gave up the treadmill. Bizarrely, they declined the offer. They had less than 2 weeks to go for goodness sake and they couldn't do without the treadmill? Couldn't they run around the garden?
The ever-petulant Malibu continued to whine about her hair, and when Rory mimicked her she just had to have the last laugh so she put chilli powder in Rory's locker.
Ben continued to defy Big Brother, and washed himself again while doing the dishes in the outside sink. Unfortunately, he came off second best once more when Big Brother confined him to the yard, meaning he became the kombi's fourth resident of the series.
On Wednesday night, the housemates were hit with news of a snap eviction.
We saw Pamela Anderson arrive on stage in an outfit that would look skimpy on a Barbie.
We were also treated to an on stage interview with Malibu's "friend" Eric. The producers originally intended to have a confrontation between Eric and Malibu's father, but this was pulled once they knew Malibu was going to be evicted. Consequently, we instead saw Eric grilled by Kyle over certain things he'd said about Malibu on the internet (ie. behindbigbrother.com), to which Eric refused to say anything. Great TV that then.
So a devastated Malibu was evicted, with Princess Sparkles in hand, and was reunited with her doting, insipid parents on stage. It was somewhat satisfying to gain some evil pleasure on seeing Malibu freak out when she learned that Eric had been interviewed earlier.
Back in the house, Pamela Anderson appeared in the rewards window for the paparazzi task. The HMs speculate whether it was really her, but in the end they decide it probably wasn't.
Rory was called to the Diary Room where he met Pamela, though he initially believed she was a look-alike.
Pamela entered the house, met the housemates, and got a house tour. The housemates couldn't stop taking photos of her.
The HMs enjoyed a vegetarian banquet with Pamela before she left for the evening.
To no-one's surprise, Malibu's Housemate Hand Grenade was lobbed at Rory. He could only eat what basic, dull food Big Brother supplied for him.
On Thursday morning, Pamela returned and directed a photoshoot of the housemates.
Pamela enjoyed oiling up the boys, and was probably a tad annoyed at Travis' inability to take direction. Regardless of what he was told, the lad was unable to have a photo taken without making a silly face.
With Malibu evicted, Ben confined to the garden, and Cherry unable to help because he was Head of House, Travis was the only person left who was allowed to cook. Despite being warned not to help him, Terri did so, so Big Brother confiscated their dinner.
Was Travis pissed off like any normal person? Of course not. He remained possimistic and was happy he got a chance to cook again.
Thursday also saw the other HMs give Terri a hilarious emo make-over.
Friday night's FNL was Circus Night, with the HMs dressed as clowns.
A number of point scoring rounds were played, with Ben, Alice and Terri topping the leaderboard.
Travis joined back in after winning the second chance pie-eating round, and then made it to the final against Ben.
Ben was victorious, becoming Head of House (but was still stuck in the yard) as well as winning a shiny new 42" plasma TV.
Pamela then returned for her final visit to give the HMs their photos.
Amusingly, Pamela was made to do 10 push ups by the HMs after she said the banned word "mine" in the HM's game.
To cap off their Friday night, the HMs had a slumber party with giant teddy bears, and individual pillows and doonas.
On Saturday, the housemates were given a new challenge - a silent disco marathon. They had to dress in lurid 80s clothing, and dance to a rotation of 4 pop songs on their mp3 players while remaining on their assigned discs.
Cherry was eliminated first when he stepped off his disc, and commenced sabotaging the other HMs by contaminating their water bottles with things such as pumpkin and tuna.
After an incredible 10 hours of non-stop dancing, Alice and Rory were declared joint winners, with each winning a parcel from home.
Sunday's eviction was entirely predictable with Cherry given the boot. That is all. Until next week. Then it really will be all. Unless Channel 7 pick up BB as has been suggested. Might be interesting.
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